When I tell people that I work in the surrogacy field, the reaction is always the same. Something along the lines of, "well that's different", followed up with "what a rewarding line of work to be in." I nod in agreement. What they don't know, is HOW rewarding, incredible, all encompassing, and profoundly special this line of work is. I spare most people the emotional long winded monologue about what it feels like hearing the soul jolting happiness intended parents feel when holding their baby for the first time. Or what it's like to watch a surrogate's husband look at her in awe, knowing she was the one that brought this joy and this miracle to a new family. It gives me goosebumps whenever I think of it. I thought I'd write about what it feels like working in the surrogacy field instead so whenever the next person asks, "what's it like working in the surrogacy field?", I can direct them here.
First, some background...I started working in the surrogacy field initially because I loved the idea of helping people become parents. My mom was unable to have a biological child due to an infection she had as only a child which resulted in a hysterectomy. Because of 3 amazing selfless birth mothers, my parents became two of the most amazing parents in the world through adoption. These birth moms made such courageous decisions to give my siblings and I a life they knew they couldn't and we are so grateful to them for that. They are heroes in my opinion. And so is each and every woman who decides to become a surrogate.
My parents were born to be parents. My mom is the most selfless, giving, nurturing woman I have ever met and the thought of her going through life without having the opportunity to give that part of herself to a child and know the joys of parenthood, is devastating. My mom is just like the hundreds of intended parents that I've been fortunate enough to help over the years. So for me, surrogacy is personal.
Surrogacy is of course very different than adoption. One of the major differences is that with gestational surrogacy (which is the only kind of surrogacy arrangement I facilitate) surrogates are implanted with embryos that are biologically related to the intended parents, or a sperm and/or egg donor. But the joy that surrogates bring to a couple who has wanted to have a baby for so long is as profound as the joys an adoptive parent feels when bringing their baby home for the first time. Any woman who gives a part of herself to allow another human being to experience becoming a parent is a true hero. And having the privilege of being able to have even the smallest part in these incredible surrogacy arrangements is a gift. I won't lie and tell you every day is rainbows. Some days are really, really tough. In the world of surrogacy, things don't always go the exact way that everyone hopes it will and it can sometimes take an army of people and professionals to get things on track and keep them that way. But as with most great things, they tend to not come so easy. And the children that are born as a result of surrogacy will be loved with extra doses of intensity as the surrogacy professionals involved, the amazing surrogates, the families, and most importantly the parents know exactly what it took to bring them here. This incredible miracle is the reason that I love, and feel blessed to do the work I get to do.